IFS for Parents - Lelah Nichol, LCSW

IFS therapy for parents in San Rafael CA, who want to feel less reactive, more connected, and more confident in how they show up at home.

IFS Therapy for Parents in San Rafael CA

Break Generational Cycles With Compassion, Not Control

Parenting brings up parts of you that no one else sees—your fear of doing it wrong, your guilt when you lose your temper, the shame that whispers, you’re not enough. These parts often trace back to your own childhood experiences.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy helps you understand the younger, wounded parts of you that still influence how you respond to your child today. Instead of reacting out of overwhelm or old pain, IFS helps you parent from a grounded, calm inner Self.

Issues it Treats

IFS therapy helps parents move through:

Guilt and shame about not being “good enough”
Repeating painful patterns from their own upbringing
Reactivity, yelling, or shutting down under stress
People-pleasing or overcompensating as a parent
Feeling emotionally disconnected or unfulfilled at home

Common Parenting Challenges IFS Helps With

You Want to Show Up Calm and Connected—But Sometimes, You Just Can’t

You’re trying so hard — but it still feels like you’re snapping, shutting down, or spinning in guilt more than you’d like.

Maybe you’ve sworn not to repeat the patterns you grew up with — but now, under stress, they’re showing up anyway. You love your child deeply, but part of you feels resentful, overwhelmed, or like you’re disappearing in the role.

IFS gives you the tools to slow down and work with these parts of you, not against them. You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through parenting — you can find ease, healing, and more trust in yourself.

What Type of Change Is Possible With IFS Therapy?

Go From This:

Reacting to your child out of frustration or fear
Feeling triggered by behaviors you “should” be able to handle
Repeating old patterns from your family of origin
Constant guilt about not doing enough
Parenting from autopilot or burnout

To This

Responding with more calm, clarity, and confidence
Understanding where your reactions come from—and how to shift them
Healing wounds from your own childhood so they stop running the show
Letting go of perfection and embracing presence
Feeling more connected to both your child and yourself

Heal Your Inner Child, Show Up With More Presence

The way you were parented still lives inside you—but it doesn’t have to control how you parent now.
You don’t have to be a perfect parent. You just need to be present, self-aware, and willing to grow.
Your inner child doesn’t need to run the show anymore—but they do need to be heard.
Healing your past is one of the most powerful gifts you can give your child.
There’s a calmer, more connected version of you—and IFS can help you get there.

How IFS Supports Parenting From the Inside Out

It’s Not About Fixing Yourself—It’s About Understanding Yourself

IFS therapy helps you meet your inner world with curiosity and compassion. You’ll learn to identify the protective parts that overreact, the wounded parts that feel unseen, and the calm, wise Self that can lead from clarity.

In parenting, this means fewer triggered responses, more thoughtful choices, and the ability to pause instead of explode. IFS doesn’t give you a rigid parenting formula—it helps you become the kind of parent you want to be, from the inside out.

How IFS Can Transform Your Experience of Parenthood

Parent From a Place of Self-Trust, Not Self-Doubt

Imagine responding to your child’s big emotions without getting swept up in your own. Picture being able to hold boundaries without guilt, and comfort your child without ignoring your own needs.

When you heal the parts of you that didn’t feel safe, supported, or seen as a child—you stop reacting from that pain. You start parenting with more grace, presence, and compassion.

This is deep work. But the ripple effects touch every corner of your family life.

Let’s Help You Parent From a More Grounded, Compassionate Place

Your child deserves the best version of you—and so do you.

Client Testimonial

I’ll never forget learning of a very traumatic experience that happened to my daughter and I knew instinctively that Lelah was the best resource for us in that moment. I texted her and she offered to see us the very next morning.

Lelah made time for us, listened to us with empathy but also precise execution of a plan to help my daughter.

She has been such a soft landing spot for my family over the last 15 years, not just during times of crisis but to assist us through the day to day life moments as well.

I feel like we hit the lottery in terms of the most professional, caring, receptive, understanding therapist there is out there!!!